Steady Me.

July 21, 2019

Sometimes the journey that lies ahead looks impossible. That is definitely how I felt this past week when we went and climbed Mount Prisojnik. Standing at the bottom of the mountain and looking up, left a very intimidating impression in my mind. As our intern leader pointed out the path that we would be climbing I was a bit spectacle because from our view point it was difficult to see how someone had made a pathway to climb. And for most the climb it was difficult to see which way was the right direction. There was a lot of unsteadiness and trust involved.

The beginning of the climb started with us clipping into a cable that was built into the side of the mountain and maneuvering across ledges and up sides of the it. We would clip and unclip and clip and unclip until it became second nature to us. As we climbed upward, at certain points, it became about trust in our footing even when the sliver of the mountain that jutted out just enough for barely the side of your foot to fit. There were multiple times where we were not clipped into a cable and we had to free climb or walk up some rocky parts. This left me intimidated with fear of losing my grip and falling hundreds of feet down. I felt unsteady.

But this unsteadiness reminded me of the unsteadiness I feel in life and how I respond to it. It is usually when I feel unsteady in life that I become overwhelm, lose my footing and become scared to take the next step. I lose sight of where I am stepping and I am solely focused on the seemingly impossible obstacles around me and I fear trekking forward into them. In times like these, I also find that there were moments where I ceased seeking Jesus for direction.

Although I wasn’t walking on water I definitely felt similar to Peter when he walked on water and became distracted by fear, losing sight of Jesus.

But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
“Lord, if it is you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
“Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt me?”
Matthew 14:27-31, NIV

I found myself questioning who I was going to turn towards or what my actions were going to be when things get tough and the pathway is not clear. There were several times where I would walk the wrong direction and our intern leader would stop me and point out the arrows marked on the rocks, pointing out the right direction. I was so focused on what my immediate next step would be and wasn’t paying attention to the fact that I was straying off the path. Sometimes we think it is easy to see the right and the wrong path. But a lot of the time there is uncertainty about which path is the right path because they both look chaotic and unsafe.

But I had to default to trust. Trust that my intern leader was going to point me in the right direction. Trust that the people who had created this path had done their job correctly. Similarly, I had to trust God’s guidance and that he will make a way where there is no way – on this climb where in order to make it from point A to point B I had to push my bodies physical limits and in my day to day life when I feel everything swarming and I cannot make sense of it all.

When we finally made it to the top, 4 hours later, the view was breath taking. The journey to get to this point meant that I had to trust the people I was climbing with because this climb was not something I could have done by myself, nor would I have wanted to do by myself.

This hike, or climb, up the mountain meant a lot of support and encouragement from one another. It meant celebrating each others’ strengths and protecting each others’ weaknesses. Reaching the top with my intern team meant I had people to share in the success with and I could share joy with. There is importance in community and inviting people to do life with you.

The Narrow Path.

June 20, 2019

We all have a daily schedule. Wake up, eat breakfast, get ready for school or work, countdown the hours until it is time to go home, relax by watching t.v./ reading a book/ hanging out with friends, eat dinner, and go to sleep with the next day looking the same.

Now this is definitely a general outline, but you get the idea and can fill in what your daily life looks like. But something we all do is get caught up the busyness of our day to day life. This is something I have found myself guilty of in the past year. I got comfortable being comfortable and ignored what God was calling me to do.

My eyes have been open to a spiritual battle that is being fought every single day. I always knew that there was a spiritual platform that Satan liked to play unfair on and we communicated to God through, but I don’t think I ever took it seriously. Brooke, one of the ladies discipling me this summer, talked about what it meant for her being a part of this spiritual battle and the importance of fighting in it. For her it means protecting the people who do not know Jesus and are blind to the battle. It looks like her standing, clothed with the armor of God, between the enemy and these people.

God has given us the tools, so why not use them? He has assured us of his authority over the enemy. How crazy would it be if we lived our lives as if we believed that?

“Very truly I tell you, a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear it will live. For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son also to have life in himself. And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man.”
John 5:25-27, NIV

We were also given authority through Jesus.

“I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.”
Luke 10:19, NIV

After I heard Brooke talking about being a part of the spiritual battle, I was convicted. I wanted to be fighting the battle, but I had taken myself out of it. I had backed down when a deep wound was formed. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Instead of letting God heal it properly, I took it out of God’s hands, took it upon myself to bandage up the wound and stepped to the sideline to protect myself. I threw myself into a busy schedule and started to put up walls around my heart to people. I find it easier to put a smile on my face and say everything was okay then be vulnerable about what was really going on, but that quickly became exhausting.

When I stepped to the sideline, I left my defense and left relationships I had with people wide open for the enemy to attack. I allowed the enemy to get the headline instead of finding Jesus in the midst of it all and giving him praise. I let my relationship with God become more private. For some reason, I thought this was going to solve all my problems and make life easier. Let me tell you, being without community and thinking you can do everything on your own is lonely and frustrating. It is a lie from the enemy that is used to isolate yourself so he has an easier target.

The community that has been built in Celje has been overwhelmingly supportive. These people love so deeply and constantly push each other and pray for one another. They protect one another and the people around them. They set an example of what it means to take up your cross daily and follow after Christ, putting on the armor of God.

When I realized the spiritual battle that was going on around me, I felt like cold water had been splashed on me and I finally snapped out of this daze I found myself in. God was clear about who is welcome at his table. (hint: everyone) So why treat my relationship with God so privately? God was perfectly clear that his invitation was an open invite to anyone who wants to accept. Everyone is invited and everyone is worth being fought for.

Take Flight.

June 1, 2019

After traveling all day we finally landed in Prague in the Czech Republic with a couple of hours to spare before we started the Amazing Race. The first day of the race was physically exhausting. One of the first challenges we encountered was moving a kilo of gummy bears, which is roughly 400 individual gummy bears, from our bucket to color coded buckets in the middle of a field using only our mouths. Most teams had about 5 or 6 people on a team, but our Slovenia team from Abilene only had 3 people. It took our team about an hour and a half to complete this challenge, resulting in each of us sprinting about 1.8 miles each. Let me tell you that after this challenges I could no longer feel my legs and we still had more challenges to complete that day. I thought my legs were going to fall off. For the rest or the day we were able to team up with the other Slovenia team and complete the challenges together, which was pretty cool to get to know the other half of the people I would be serving with this summer!

The second day of the race started out with us running Prague hopping between using the tram and the metro system. We had to complete a bingo card by going to different tram and bus stops and taking selfies with the stops, which took us about 2 hours to travel between 5 different stops. The last challenge we had to complete in Prague was sewing together a doll and clothes for the doll to wear so we could mail it to UNICEF. Just when we were getting comfortable navigating through an unknown city, we had to find our way to the train station and navigate buying tickets to Brno and finding the right platform our train was leaving. Arriving in a new city meant asking new people for new directions to new places and walking up and down A LOT of hills. But now I can say I have seen a castle – the Spilberk Castle – in real life and fulfill that childhood dream. After the business of everything, our final challenge of the day ended up being an hour of prayer. Which was a total change of pace from how the day had been going. As weird as it may have felt to be going a 100 mph to stopping all of sudden, it was nice to sit, breath, and regroup with my team in the presence of God. This hour allowed for an appreciation of everything God was doing in all areas of the earth and in everybody’s life. Also, to give God praise for who he is and the ways in which he has blessed us. Realizing that sometimes God’s blessings come in the eleventh hour and in the small moments. It was also a neat way to grow with Mitchell and Sarah and bond with them on a spiritual level. It is one thing to know people when they put a “mask” on for the day and it is another thing to be vulnerable with someone and take that “mask” off. I have noticed that so many times we only connect with people on a surface level and our relationship with Christ remains on private. But there is a new connection made when you open up and allow God to be the focus and direct the conversation.

The last day of the race was the final stretch. With each new clue given with a new destination, we would hobble our way trying to find people who would give us confirmation that we were heading in the right direction. One challenge took us out of the city to learn the camp dance we will be teaching youth’s this summer, just to bring us right back to the Spilberk Castle where we learned how to play a French game called Pentanque. Which I have to say was quite fun. The twist to it was if your team lost to the pervious team you had to stay at this location until another team showed up to play you. The only way to move forward was to win the game. It did not take us long to get the hang of it. Knowing that the race was coming to an end meant that we would be changing cities again. Arriving at the train station we found out that we had 5 minutes to board the train before it left the station, which meant making a mad dash for the platform and praying to God that we made it onto the right train. Traveling to the first train stop we were told by a kind stranger that we were in fact not on the right train and would have to switch at the next stop. Getting off with confusion we asked one of the crew members on the train and was told that the train we needed to be on was on the platform across from us, which just so happen to be getting ready to leave the station. So, yet again, we ran as fast as we could down the flight of stairs and up another flight of stairs that would bring us up to the opposite platform. Finally boarding the right train we were able to sit and relax for a bit as we settled in our the 4 hour train ride. Arriving at our final destination meant we only had a little bit left of the race. Once we had the finish line in sight we, both Slovenia teams, crossed together with huge smiles on our face and taking 5th place out of 26 teams.

As challenging as this experience may have been, whether physically, spiritually, or mentally, there was always someone cheering me on or encouraging me. This race taught me to rely on my teammates, check multiple times that you were given the right directions, a smile on your face can go a long way, and so much more. Our intern leader, Matt Mormance, at the being of the race introduced the way in which we would run the race. In Christ we would, celebrate each other’s strengths, protect each other’s weakness, be thankful no matter the circumstances, and communicate. At the end of the day it felt like a movie. We all celebrated conquering the Amazing Race, treating ourselves to a big dinner. Then we drove up part of a hill to watch the sun set and we were amazed at God’s beauty. As we sat there, we ate ice cream and made each other laugh. Nothing is better than going to bed with a smile on your face.